thanks fang & phoebe!

fang, it's really nice to know someone cared!
love you. (: shh. dun tell ronald i said i love you.

phoebe, thanks.
you are always like a big sister.
teaching me about things in life.
(: good tat u r there to hear me out.


crystal aint a strong girl.
even the slightest memories turn the nose sour,
the eyes red.
BUT, IAM FINE!
dun forget i got super power of speedy recovery.
haha.


phoebe bring me go their outing with some bike friends.
we went bugis.
then geylang buy durians.
then changi eat durians.
then home.

tml morning going jb.


let's hope all this can stop me from dwelling.
mayb it will speed up the time,
& may it heal. (:


same place;
both holding memories,
and creating new memories.

same place;
you & me in the past.
new friends & me now.

same place...
(:

ended.
really not something that i've expected.
but yet something i thought might be happening.
prepared yet unprepared.


crystal shed no tears.
didnt felt good either.
it's called, complicated feeling.


lady luck & angel cupid hate crystal.


"Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now."

singlehood.

big girls dont cry.

projects is driving me nuts.
projects projects projects.
guess wad time i left school yesterday?
i reached school at 11am and we left at 10pm.
like wow.
the 1st time i stayed so late in school.
spss data is like finally done. phew!

den went home.
steph steph and jian hai walked home.
den joshua took the same bus as me.
he's going ikea.
on the way back, saw derek.
den they both talk talk talk.

the way to tpe took 30 minutes lah.
jam like hell.
curse and swear.
i am so tired and there is the bloody jam.
arghh.

like finally reached sk.
den i realised, how come joshua still on bus.
slow reaction.
den he said, his friends went home already.

finally my bus stop!
me, him and derek alighted.
and he walked me home.
on the way, guess wad??

... i killed a snail!
ahhhh. i am a snail murderer. haha.
homed, and slept.


today.
wake up at 7.
school-ed at 9.
project at 1.
done at 4.
and now i'm in lab using com.
cos i dun wan go home so early.
hmmm.


i thought iam unreasonable.
but i realise, i am not.
i aint gonna feel guilty no more.

lady luck left me.
angel cupid abandoned me.
:( crystal is so pathetic.

I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand,
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing there across the road,
There's a choice you gotta make.

I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna bring me down,
The only way you try to find,
Moving on with the rest of your life,
Start to wave goodbye. -carrie underwood

pissed!

i seriously have no idea how to communicate with YOU.
YOU asked me wad's my wrong with me.
i seriously think there's nothing wrong with me.
it's YOU.
y must i call YOU when YOU order me to?
if YOU seriously doesnt have any intention to talk.
den y in the 1st place complain about i ask YOU not to call?
den later ask me call & hang my phone?
i'm already very pissed about wad happen the previous night.
& now i'm super duper pissed lah!
if YOU seriously think i'm showing attitude out of no reason.
den YOU are doing the right thing by not trying to explain.

kill me please!


since when quarrels became a routine for us?
since when i'm left with the feeling 'lost' rather than 'love'?
since when our honeymoon period leave us?


ok. i should be apologising for hanging up.
it's rude.
(i, myself seriously hate ppl hanging my call.)
& i seldom hang up the phone unless i'm really angry.
making things clear:
i'm only sorry for the part that i hang up.
not for the part you claim i am showing attitude.
anyway, i did say 'bye bye'.
all i did was i dint wait for u to hang up.


:( i'm totally not happy.

hmm. school system is a lil sotsot.
it takes a whole 1 hour to complete my subject selection.
& according to steph,
school com have no problem logging in.
so it is something to do with home com?
arghh!


my com like new com liddat.
change the monitor.
& korkor change some software in the cpu.
it looks so new.
(except the dust!)
but i tink kor is downloading games games & more games.
hahaha.
& all my songs gone.
& my pictures too.
how nice. x)


stephsteph says crystal always get emo.
hahaha.
i admit.
just sometimes dint feel like talking.
ever since secondary school days.
hmm. bad crystal.
poor steph, always need to talk to the wall.
hahaha. sorry steph.
i'll try my very best not to moodswing tat often.
(:


opps. i miss out something super funny.
i was tinking y steph tag my board say" hold my hand"
den i realise.
LMAO.
ok. me, steph & borui went zouk on wednesday.
it was super crowded.
i finally know wad is called 'sandwiched in between'
den we 3 were trying to squeeze out of the dancefloor.
i was taking the lead.
so i was grabbing steph's hand all the way.
dunno when, steph's hand & my hand seperated.
den i saw a hand.
so i tot it was hers.
& i grabbed it.
den someone seperated my hand again.
& i grabbed it again.
when we were out.
stephsteph told me i grabbed the wrong hand.
it was someone elses hand.
i was like," huh?!"
super embarassed.
steph said she try to seperate the hands yet i hold back.
no wonder the hand felt different.
(steph's hand not so warm)
LOL.


all along it was crystal that's being paranoid.
but i guess it's over anyway.

is it you or is it me?


i had 2 nightmares in a row last night.
haha. wonderful isnt it?
i must have been too stress recently.
i might end up in buangkok chalet anytime.
LMAO.

ppl, talk to me before i dun even remember who u r!


crystal is in need of love!

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you - KELLY CLARKSON.


i'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket.

pastamania for lunch.
saw billy. (same primary/ he's also steph's friend)
i saw him, he saw me.
den we was like stun for a moment.
like know each other,
but yet dunno each other.
hahaha.


watched fantastic 4. yeah!
super nice.
i like the silver surfer.
he's so handsome in tat silvery outfit!
keke.
& he's kind.
jessica alba is prettypretty too. (:

no overseas of me.
went to ica building today.
wanted to update my passport photo.
den the lady said no point updating.
cos my passport is gonna expire within 6 month.
hmm.
which meant, new passport needed.
which also meant, money needed.


yeah!
gonna meet steph & nini tml.
going gaigai.
it seems long tat we 3 go shopping together already. (:


i'm so quiet today.
mouth seems to be too heavy to open.
or mayb there's nothing for us to communicate?
hmm.

with a GENIUS mind of mine,
i came out with a wonderful idea.
since i'm so upset with him being busy.
& trying to maintain & uphold the role of being a understanding & caring gf.
&& coming to a conclusion that more care means more upset i'm getting.
so i came out with this:

i shant disturb my busy bf during his book in.
so i should neither call nor msg him during the 5 days.
lastly, when he book out,
den we shall contact & see whether a not we'll be meeting.

benefits of my genius idea:
#1- reduction of opportunity of quarreling.
(professor crystal found out that msging & calling contribute to the rates of having a quarrel among couples.)
#2- lessen the chances of me being left out due to his busy schedule.
(in order to let me be a caring gf.)
#3- increase the "miss each other" percentage.
(so tat once we meet we shall cherish our time rather than quarreling.)
#4- additional topics to talk about when we meet.
(5 days without talking, sure got more things to say.)
#5- provision of sufficient freedom.
(i wouldnt make noise about making report.)

according to professor crystal,
the plan must be strictly followed to ensure success.

but he dun wan to agree to my GENIUS idea.
he would rather quarrel & me getting upset over his busy schedule.
x((

mayb i should seriously reconsider.

enjoyable day out with my family.
went to granny's house in the afternoon.
sat around & played with my little cousins.
cute lil children running around the house.


my two brothers joined me & mummy after we left granny's place.
met them at junction8.
den in search of places to makan.
thinking tat mummy seldom go gai gai.
so i suggested bringing mummy to katong aston's speciality.
so we cabbed down.

on the cab, we talked ALOT.
until i'm finding myself noisy. hahaha.
but it was fun talking to them.
especially with didi.
he got super lots of rubbish. x)

ate & talk again.
we got seriously alot of things to talk about.
we talked about didi's "girlfriends"
we talked about korkor's past.
we talked about alot of things till i dun remember wad.

left & bus-ed home.
we talked the whole journey home.
u must be wondering wad we r talking about.
this time round we talked about, china ppl.
dun elaborate on that.
we talked about business.
we talked about how korkor dream his life thru.
& didi pop out something that's very meaningful.

he told mummy is investing on shares now.
(he meant mummy bringing us up)
& he will return mummy wad she invested next time.
(when investment matured, u get back ur money)
it's only you cant choose whether u r investing in a good shares or a rotten one.
(super true lo, you wouldnt know ur child will be good to you when you r old not.)

went compass point to grab newspaper, bread & top up bus cards.
& finally home.


i dun even know where you r.
even need to ask huini.

u dun even bother to tell me.
i dun tink there's a need for me too.

instead of coaxing me,
you said we cant communicate.

every msg i received,
i was hoping it was you.
but none is.

if you dun care,
i dun too.

LOVE PARADISE-
you're always on my mind
all day just all the time
you're everything to me
brightest star to let me see
you touch me in my dreams
we kiss in every scene
i pray to be with you through rain and shiny days
i'll love you till i die
deep as sea
wide as sky
the beauty of our love paints rainbows
everywhere we go
need you all my life
you're my hope
you're my pride
in your arms i find my heaven
in your eyes my sea and sky
may life be our love paradise


if only love is that simple.

bad mood now.
& it's just minutes after the previous happy post.

to steph:
i dint dare to talk to u on friday,
it's because u seems sad & not in good mood.
wanted to ask u go shopping tat day de.
but u said u need to go home before i could asked.
hmm.
dunno wad else to say.
if u really feel distant with me,
i'm sorry to make you feel tat way.
hmmmmm.

if only... ...

i am on the SHOPPING-kind-of-mood.
hahaha!
went bugis after work.
boss send me there.
cos i tink he trying to psycho me go doubleO.
but finally persuade him i dun wan go. hahaha.
& i went shopping ALONE once gain.
(tink i need to gather some shopping khakis.)
bought a top.
it's not discounted thou.
happyhappy.



hmm.
my leg, the burnt part is itching like crazy.
as thou it's yelling,"scratch me! peel my skin off."
but i scare pain dun dare to scratch the burnt part.
itchy itchy itchy.
rahhhhhhhh!


oh. remembered something.
according to kokchoon,
the reason y i never kanna sore eyes is:
i'm wearing contact lens,
& contact lens solution kill all germs & bacteria.
according to mummy,
the reason is:
a few weeks ago i was having high fever,
& i'm on antibiotics.
so i am stronger & resisted the virus.
why why why?
why dun you all believe i am the strongest link?
i'm SUPERWOMAN leh. hahaha!
stop denying the fact tat i am strong.
LMAO.

i shant disturb u tat often. (:
understanding-in-process.

finally i got the feel of the GSS.
in case ppl dunno wad GSS is.
it's GREAT SINGAPORE SALES.
falala.


spent about 50 bucks on a shorts & skirt.
finally got to spent my money.
xiao qing bought a shirt too.
den after xiao qing left for marina sq.
went shopping alone at bugis.
haha. kind of weird.
but interesting experience. xp


boss asked me go st james.
clubbing clubbing.
i wan go. but not with him.
his friends all i dunno.
so avoiding the awkward situation,
better dun go.
went dinner with brendon.


after which, cabbed home.
the cab uncle very funny.
he was asking wan left or right to TPE.
den i was like," huh? i dunno leh"
den he started elaborating which direction is good & all.
den halfway thru highway,
he asked," faster right?"
i was like," hmm, ya. but i also dunno, cos seldom take cab."
haha. stupid answer of mine.

reached my house.
den i was digging for my money.
dunno drop till wher.

& uncle said," u local?"
i replied," yup"
he said," u look like china girl but dun sound like them."
(continue digging my bag for my 20 bucks.)
he turned & look at me,"ur bag puma ah?"
replied,"yup"
"sport bag is it?"
"no lah, the brand sport only."
" u half half is it?"
(finally found my money)
"nope, pure singaporean. (:"
paid & left.



sobsob.
i dun to look like china girl!
haha. *mean*
seriously, i tink they isnt cultured & no manners lo.
read the papers,
beijing is setting rules & regulations for them,
#1: not to cut queue.
#2: not to spit.
#3: not to anyhow cross roads.
#4: dun remember wad already.
it's all because of the coming olympic.
imagine they need government to teach them to be cultured.
hmm.
ok. i am not being objective.
mayb mayb some r good cultured & well-mannered & hygenic ppl.
x)


time with you is little little.
being grumpy once again.
hmm.
i understand the situation u r in.
u need to wake up early.
u need to be busy all day.
u have no time for me.
84 more days.
hmmmmm... ...
may crystal be a understanding & caring gf.


hehe. r u both together??
six sense, intuition tell me u r.
open ur mouth, tell me!! x)

watched spider lilies just now.
hmm. too complicated.
dun understand wad itis showing.
i'm too dumb.


next show: FANTASIC FOUR!
so tempted to watch.
see the triller & it seems so nice. x)


finally, i am going to leave my house today.
but the purpose is to go do project.
haha.
better than nothing.
can go looklook seesee wad's on GSS.
xp


it's so not me.
not the same me.
mememe?

dwelling on our past?

moving on?


FANTASIC FOUR!!!!

ok, i tink my sore eyes is a false alarm.
my eyes isnt red & dint seems to be sore.
it's a lil swollen thou.
haha. false alarm.
so i am still the strongest.
imma immune to the highly contagious sore eye virus.
hahaha!


i've been rotting at home ever since monday.
3 days!
it has been 3 days!
super duper boring.


i'm bored to the extent that i took my homework to do.
(good girl yea?)
so i finish my boe proposal.
& cut out 2 articles for finance.
(only need 1, but i too free to cut 2 out)
seriously going to bored myself to death.


hmm. surveys surveys surveys.
i've got 9 LONG surveys to finish for my project.
& i mean LONG.
i did one & it takes 50 minutes to finish.
& i need 5 upper secondary school students,
2 university students,
1 poly student,
& 1 jc/ITE student.
how am i gonna find all these people?
arghh.


hmm. dengue is on the rise.
received a envelope of infomation tat teaches u how to prevent dengue.
i tink it's kind of serious.
if not y the fuss in sending the pile of things to everyone.
so people take good care of urself.
dengue can take life! (:


oh. watched the news & saw a report on honour killing.
the thing happen in london.
some pakistan refuguee staying there.
as we all knows, the pakistan ppl is very traditional.
so there's this pakistan girl that had sex with a guy.
that guy isnt of her religion,
he's some christian.
so the relatives & father of the girl thinks she bought shame to the family.
hence, decided to kill her.
hmm. it's like nonsense.
how could someone be tat cruel to take the life of their own blood?
& just because they THINK she's bringing shame.
arent they bringing shame to the family when they do such cruel things?


seeing things from another view:
maybe the older generation use killing as a means to stop pre-marital sex/divorce/adultery.
if our culture have this honour killing thingy,
maybe nobody would dare to divorce.
having that maybe will reduce the problems relating to divorce.
butbut why is it targeting at the ladies?
what if the man raped the girl?
must they kill the girl as well?
wad about the beastly rapist?


luckily iam living in singapore.
my culture free me from all this nonsense.
phew~
(:

bored bored!

my house is infected with the sore eye disease.
everyone is having it, daddy, mummy, korkor & didi.
was haolianing to my brothers tat i am super strong.
i dint got their sore eye virus.
who knows today, wakeup my eyes red already.
hahaha. suay mouth i've got.
according to kor, the virus is spreading.
the basketball court near my house,
the people there having it too.
& my kor keep saying he's gonna spread it.
so he went to compass point
& said he's going to rub his eyes
& start shaking everyone's hands.
evil. hahaha.


suppose to go do surveys with boss today.
butbut, due to the red eyes i have.
i msg him & told him i cant go.
butbut, he dint reply once again.
mayb he will think i am trying to 'throw mc again'
lalala...


well, ok. mummy found out wad happened tat day.
was sleeping in the living room.
& dint know my shorts flew up to my thigh.
(i'm a fighter in my dreamland. haha)
den she saw my super big bruise on my thigh.
& she go rub.
waking me up with a SCREAM.
den she concluded i fell from the bike.
how come my mummy so smart?
den while nagging plus more nagging.
she take a bottle of ailment,
& rubbed my bruises.
the whole of my right leg is fill with bruises.
dint noe it was so jialat till mummy rub it.
& it hurts like hell.
i was smiling, laughing & screaming.
smiling is because,
the worried look on my mum shows she care.
& she said," how come i nv notice all this earlier?"
so caring nei.
laughing & screaming is because,
it's itchy & painful can.
x)


been quarreling for 2 days already.
dunno wad's wrong with me.
start doubting on my decision.
will history repeat itself? hmm.
the 10 reasons isnt valid.
yet it could still coax me for the time being.
=I


received a msg from wendy.
it's as followed:

guess wad i had for lunch?


tadah...
butter prawns with cereal!
yumyumyum.
mummy is WONDERFUL!! hahaha.


was talking to brendon about sore eyes only yesterday.
& my little brother got it today.
so coincidental. haha.
poor didi.
he got this super swollen eyes.
den he kept saying," my eyes liddat very yandao hor?"
cute leh him. hahaha.


i've got 5 blueblack. x)

moodswing.

hmm. y do i always have moodswing?
like some dumb ass liddat.
arghh. hate myself.

mmm.
now i knew how nini felt the other time.
nini, we're on the same boat. haha.

oh. i'm hooked on to a drama called, one litre of tears.
it's a super sad show.
but havent cried so far.
it's based on true story.
about a disease that found a 15 year old girl.
it's called spinocerebellar degeneration.
where the cerebellum & spinol cord is damage.
both of tat organs control & coordinate the movement of body.
e.g walking speaking writing or eating.
so gradually, the victim will lose the ability to do all the above.
the most cruel part of the illness is tat,
the mind is not affected at the least.
meaning the poor victim can actually think& feel.
it's only they cant coordinate their thinking with the movement.

can u imagine?
u could actually feel everything.
yet, u r so helpless in doing anything.
poor thing.
i tried putting myself in their shoes.
& all i felt was, "LET ME DIE!"
super lousy me.
hahaha.

life is unpredictable.
u'll never know wad's next.

dun tell u wad happen. haha.

holidays holidays holidays.
iam in a total holiday mood.
tat means no mood to work.
tat will also mean no money to shop.
haha. holiday mood!


my boss & his colleagues are going hongkong during july.
so good.
they like everytime go travelling.
few months ago they went phuket.
rich ppl.
then, boss ask me wan go not.
i say no money.
den he said," i sponsor some lo.
u pay the air tix but keep quiet about it."
den i said," even go there also no money shop. no fun."
& he answered," go there see scenery lo."
hahaha.
i tink i not at the age to go oversea see scenery yet.
x)







dun look at my dumb face.
i noe i am trying to act cute.
but the point is," MY PHONE CAM IS SPOILT."
see the lines in the pic.
hahaha.










my mum once told me.
when one is poor, everything starts falling apart.
i dun agree with her then.
now den i realise it's true.
no money, & my phone spoilt.
no money, & my make up kit goes empty.
no money, & my hair sucks.
no money money no.


paris hilton is in jail. hmmm.

happyhappy.
bought a new mascara.
finally set my mind in buying.
20% discount.
U.P: 14.20, so it's 11.35.
cheapcheap. xP


yesterday accompany nini & weilin to cityplaza.
because i got nothing to do. (:
den we were at this shop.
they are trying to get their merchandise.
& there came 3 china women.
&& one of them wanted to try on a top.
she was wearing one-piece dress originally.
so she undress the upper part of her dress.
with her bra on,
& w/o going in the fitting room(both were vacant)
she tried the top.
realising the top is with padding.
& still not going into the fitting room.
she said in china chinese," here wouldnt have man one."
den she carried on removing her bra.
so i looked away.
but nini dint noe.
so nini turned & saw her boobs in the reflection of the mirror.
poor nini. (must sanitise ur eyes)
yet, the story did not end like tat.
the woman showed her friends the top.
& cos she is still wearing her dress as the bottom.
the dress is kindda loose.
so it dropped till her waist.
revealing her panty.
it's so CHEAP la.
in the end, she dint bought the top.
hahaha.


went to work today.
got a top from sharon for free.
she bought size xs.
but then i tink the cutting weird weird.
she say too big for her.
so give me.
so nice of her. x)


pissed. ihateyou!!

was browsing through the web.
& i found... ...

interesting blog: http://laozhabor.blogspot.com/

go see. super funny.
i wonder who's helping her blog & taking photos.

& i saw this pic.














isnt the guy on the extreme right, stallone??
hmm. mayb i see wrongly.

but this laozharbo sure is a funny auntie.
super cute. (:

cute granny.

cha!

went katong to eat aston's speciality with borui, daren & stephy.
it was nice.
but the memorable part was not about the food.
it's about "famous hot hot tau kwa pau"
why?
cos it's directly translated from chinese.
& notice the "hot hot"
hahaha.
& daren kept repeating "famous hot hot tau kwa pau"
so this name sunk into my mind.
super funny! LMAO.


went to view fang's friendster.
saw her nice nice new wedding photos.
aww. so sweet & lovely.
it's been long ever since i last saw her.
hmm. shall meet her soon ba. (:


last paper!! & the week is finally gone by tml.
lalala.


read the papers just now.
someone killed a snake & posted the bloody dead photo of the snake on the net.
it's in singapore.
the snake sneak into someone house in marsiling.
nini, u better be careful.
but ur house too high le la.
the snake will die of exhaustion before reaching ur house. haha.
back to topic, the snake died so tragic-fully.
the skin & meat of the head was gone.
& the photo is like a scene of some murder lo.
disgusted.



sorry. certain things are meant to be secret.
there's things call beautiful lies.

blogskin changed once again!
i'm too free to do silly things. hahaha.


shopping shopping shopping.
i need to shop.
i am in need of clothes!

haircut haircut haircut.
i need a haircut.
i need rebonding.
i need to get rid of my stupid hair!

money money money.
i need lotsa money.
i need money for shopping & haircut.
i need money for my desires!




not going to bored ppl with mid sem stuffs.
so let's forget about TEST.
&& look forward to HOLIDAY!



stephie is nice & sweet.
she help me do research on chalet thingy.
thanks love.

butbut, i am seriously considering not having a party.
because too much things to do.('m a super lazy bum)
& budget is real tight.

there's too much things to ponder.
& i always wonder.
maybe... ...

i've got a test at 3. & i'm blogging at 12.19pm, instead of studying.
i tink i am too "SMART".
xP


i studied ok?
my mind is all glued with retailing, customer services and the whole of lecture 1 to 5.
i am gonna crap my way thru with all the nonsense in my mind.

yesterday was bbf paper.
& knowing i will sure die.
i totally gave up.
i dint revise when i got the time.
& luckily, the paper is nice enough to provide me with formula.
i tink it's help. cos at least i got 1/6 chance of choosing the right formula.
lalala. god bless crystal please.

i left 30 minutes after the paper starts.
leaving behind a pool of brain juice.
wad happen?
i squeeze all my brain juice out during the paper.
hahaha.
i tink i am retarded already.
cos there isnt any brain juice left.

it's 1 month already.
time flies.

cha!

blogging when mid sem is just tml. & i dint study a teen bit. wow. i m like so good right?

boringboringboring.

mrbrendon is sleeping! like a pig!!!!!!!!!! it's 6.11pm. hahaha.

shh. i dint say anything.

when gf isnt around,
bf cheats.
tat's wad i found out.