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*G O H S H I Q I N
*o9o71989
*j u n y u a n p r i m a r y
*n a n c h i a u h i g h
*t e m a s e k p o l y R M T
*crystal_clear_89@hotmail.com
*sweet 18
11:50 PM
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
i've sorted everything out already.
1stly, i aint gonna be sad anymore. it is rather dumb if being sad doesnt make a diff, and yet i kept dwelling on it. see my smile ppl!
2ndly, i'm gonna be the happy happy crystal IN CLASS again. i guess it just takes a lil more thought to let ppl realise they cared. (elaborate later.) & mummy always tell me, when someone wants to pull you down, never fall into the trap, it just makes them happy.
3rdly, crystal's NEVER going to fall in love again. haha. never, i hope it works this time round. heartache is too much for me to handle. so the best is to not be emotionally attached in the 1st place.
ELABORATION: today, i realised i've got a SWEET AS HONEY classmate. i mean i thought we wasnt that close. we never talk in class, we never went out together, we never actually cross each other life. BUT! she's just so sweet. i think nobody actually realise i'm losing my smile in class. not even me. but she did. she gave me a packet of sour gummy (myfav.) with a note. note said:
Dear Crystal,
Recently noticed that you are not in a happy mood. No see you smile le.
I hope you are fine! This little packet of sweets is bought to, hopefully, can cheer you up a little. Keep smiling, cos you wont know who will fall in love with your smile!(:
Frien from To1 & To3
isnt that very sweet?! i think this is the sweetest gift ever. she is just a sweet girl. (:
anyway, back to work yesterday. carried the big diaper bag of mine to school. i like it cos it's BIG. haha. it looks like a diaper bag thou. had my boots & uniform & waterbottle inside. super heavy. like i'm going for a holiday kind of thing.
so after school went to work with steph, albert & donavan. STEPH, iloveyou. pies & cakes. haha!!
i've got a strong urge to CLUB! PARTY TIME anyone? my thursday night is free for dance & alcohol! xp sounds like an alcoholic.
iwillnottreatyoulikestranger,ihope.
11:50 PM
today went mystery shop with steph & donavan. but i think there's like something wrong with the questionaire. i love going out with steph. but today i guess she's tired. haha. dint talk much thou. (:
impulse buying again. shopped around, entered f21. saw this dress that was damn nice. 43$. tried, and i bought it.
we shopped around, went agnes b, i want the coinpouch! (155$) and i decided to get a burberry bag. i'm gonna get all this with my next pay.
i'm back with baileys. and i'm working 21 shift next month. MONEYMONEY!
sometimes it just takes 1 moment to sort everything out. 1 moment to realise that everything isnt as bad as you think. i appreciate that you didnt replied my nonsense. cos' it made me learnt how to put everything down.
crystal is bad with breakup.
3:29 AM
Monday, April 28, 2008
ok. i guess i'm emotionally stable finally. the good thing about humans or any other animals is that we learn how to adapt. adapt to any drastic environment. to make us feel better? (:
oh. and btw, mum called me when i was outside the other day. i was with chunlian.
so she: " who are you with?" i : " chunlian lo." she: " chunlian not with her boyf meh?" i : " the lightbulb here spoilt ma, i come be lightbulb." she : " xiao char bo, jianhai leh?" i : " i thought that day i told you no more liao." she : " why leh? what happen?" i : " no lo. quarrel then no more. but we still same class." she : " see lah, tell you dont this one that one dont want listen. aiya, dont want say you lah."
haha. the moral of the story is i dont know why i will tell my mum about the breakup. and amazingly, i dint cried. i just said in a very normal way. & MUMMY! ILOVEYOU! (:
A strangled smile fell from your face It kills me that I hurt you this way The worst part is that I didn't even know Now there's a million reasons for you to go But if you can find a reason to stay
She said if we're gonna make this work You gotta let me inside even though it hurts Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see She said like it or not it's the way it's gotta be You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me
I know you deserve much better Remember the time I told you the way that I felt And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself Let's hold onto each other above everything else Start over, start over
I'll do whatever it takes To turn this aroundI know what's at stake I know that I've let you down And if you give me a chance And give me a break I'll keep us together
I'll do whatever it takes To turn this around I know what's at stake I know that I've let you down And if you give me a chance Believe that I can change I'll keep us together Whatever it takes - Lifehouse
3:29 AM
i wrote a card. a card that states memories. a card that holds tears. a card that ends stories.
a card, my last attack. a card, my last retreat.
a goodbye card.
yet, you dint reply.
3:29 AM
you look as though things were just so normal. but i'm just not at the least as strong as you are. times and times that tears filled up in my eyes. times and times i felt as though i'm the only one feeling all lousy about this.
but at least at least you told me the 4 words, that i needed. at least i know i wasnt still alone.
anyway, crystal's single yet again.
9:18 AM
Thursday, April 24, 2008
i know i will miss, miss the midnight jb trip, miss the prawning trip, miss the laughter of urs when i sang something wrong. miss the time when we were in ur car, tuning in to muttons. although the last phrase of us, we dint really meet that much. but i really really miss every memories. Boy, my heart was true And that you can't deny Don't be a fool And walk away from all the lies It's up to you 'Coz heaven knows I've tried Tell me you're still in love. you said," move on with ur life." how easy. but my tears just keep flowing & flowing. i wanted to hold everything back. stop everything. but you're so determined, determined to end this. maybe, maybe i just need your determination. iloveyou, doesitmatteranymore?
9:18 AM
i wish i hadnt cared. i wish i hadnt seen. i wish i hadnt loved. i wish...
9:11 AM
Friday, April 18, 2008
STUPID DUMBASS!
to think i actually thought you'll keep ur promise. to think i'm such a DUMBASS!!!!!!
disappointment again & again. i'm like an idiot. waiting for NOTHING! no, waiting for you to tell me, "oh, i'm sorry, tml ok?" and then, tml. you will find excuses like,"oh, i need to save the earth. let's make it another day."
seriously, i'm F***king disappointed. i guess i seriously ought to learn my lesson this time round.
dont keep giving me false hope, and crash everything, i cant take it, really.
1:55 AM
Thursday, April 17, 2008
SHOPSHOP ONLINE!
please visit majesticvalentine.blogspot.com.
ongoing sprees include f21, gojane and cutiefashion.
and i've spent 50.51$ there. LOL
no job and i'm spending like crazy. xp
back from genting!
it was a not-very-fun trip.
shant elaborate.
but i've met a cute girl!
she's very fun thou.
and things was back to normal ever since i step in singapore.
as in the part where "we" are involved.
hmmm. things dont change, dont they?
anyway, i've decided to become a vegetarian.
but one that can still eat seafood, other then sharkfins.
haha! no pork, no chicken but still fish and prawns!
the reason is iLOVEANIMALS!
actually this is because of the conservation of wildlife thingy i saw in genting.
every break in between shows, they will show a short film.
show cruel humans kill poor bears, tigers, rhino and the list goes on.
which also reminded me of the rancoons skining alive scene i've seen on youtube.
so i've decided to not kill animals by eating them.
not wanting to be left on earth with just cruel HUMANS!
(: but i still think fish is alright. cos they have 3 sec memory.
so they wont remember anything. xp
went movie with donavan & jermine yesterday.
definately maybe.
the girl that acted in it was awesome!
abigail breslin, i watched her movie, nim's island in genting too.
i think she acted like so well.
and she's super adorable!
then, went over to airport.
cos donavan wants to take his GUCCI wallet from steph.
haha. i think he's excited about his new wallet.
his expression tell it all.
anyway, i was blabbering on on the bus to the airport,
and back to sk.
i think i'm really very talkative.
i can talk about things like anything on earth.
the best part is, DONAVAN IS DAMN QUIET!
haha. he just hear me blabber on and on and on.
timetable's out!
steph not the same class as me! ):
damn sad.
but my wednesday and thursday will be totally lesson-free.
mum says,"go get a job hor"
haha. job seeking!
any job lobang anyone?
boringboringdumbdumb day!
6:56 AM
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
class chalet for the last 3 days. as usual, chalet's a boring thing. but i guess it's the last gathering for 2ro1.
i am noob, but i like mahjong! (random)
saw stephhy last night. hmm. seems so distant with her. cos it's like dont know how many donkey years we had last met. was trying to figure out what the msg implied. the impactful, "dont know crystal is a good friend not." set me thinking, actually i'm a lousy friend to everyone.
things isnt really smooth sailing for me lately. depression taking over. CRYSTAL LOSING HERSELF! haha.
10:24 PM
Thursday, April 3, 2008
imeem got problem. cant upload the song. ): let youtube do the job. haha.
the song makes me cry. read the lyrics.
Forget About Me - Little Bit
You said, it wasn't gonna be like it was before. Then it happened again. Pushing me back out the door. Thought it would be for real this time. Love me forget about the signs. So now what do i do? Now that I know that we're through.
Too late, sorry. I didn't have the chance You said you were happy Baby, I don't understand Gave you everything you asked for And was ready to give you a lot more I would've given you the world Right in the palm of your hand.
Boy, my heart was true And that you can't deny Don't be a fool And walk away from all the lies It's up to you 'Coz heaven knows I've tried Tell me you're still in love.
Refrain: Wish that I could move on Can't let go, it's too strong Just like that and then you're gone Was this how you want it to be? Everything you had to say Sent the tears right down my face Now I'm trying to escape The Misery
Chorus: Why don't you love me? The way I'd loved you It feels so crazy 'Coz I don't know what I did to you If you're gonna hurt me Then do it quickly 'Coz I'm tired of cryin' If you don't wanna stick around Then, baby forget about me.
you nv kept to your promises. why does things always have to turn out to be my fault? have you ever really be in my shoes and think? all you said was,"i dont want to continue this conversation." off you go, to your sleep. leaving me hanging.
DISAPPOINTMENT, yet again.
8:08 AM
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
TADAH~ i passed my prac 3! no kerb no rolling down slope! hahaha.
yesterday was my didi's birthday. so we went vivo with him and my elder brother. for a feast at Marche. going out with them was an enjoyable trip. cos my brothers are very entertaining!
before dinner, we guys went for a movie. the gv at vivo sucks! hahaha. ok. everyone knows my little brother looks older than his actual age. so we booked SEMI-PRO tickets. the show is NC16.
so my brother is underage. ok. i know it's our fault to try sneaking him in. but THEN, the attitude of the CHINA woman is very no good.
we was at the entrance going into the cinema. then the china woman is the worker there. she demanded for our IC. but it's so obvious that me and my brothers are over the age limit.
so still ku ku bird talk to us in her broken ENGLISH. then finally she couldnt continue with her limited vocab. so she speak to us in CHINESE!
i regretted not continue talking in english with her. then, i asked whether can close one eye. she said cannot. then, she said," you all can refund for that ticket, or change a show." seeing her fellow CHINA colleague coming, she told him that," they all underage."
i was like, "HELLO, only 1 underage can." anyway, she continue by asking what movie we want to watch. then, we chose spiderwick. so she told her china colleague, saying that we doesnt want to go down to change. so she must help us. (the entrance & the booth is 2 diff levels.)
we nv even mention we dont want to go down. we are just waiting for them to tell us what to do. then, she trying to be noble, said she will HELP us to go down.
hmm. but in the end, she didnt. she asked her colleague, "since you're more experienced, you bring them to change the tickets." so we still have to go down.
anyway, i had a sucky experience at the cinema. so i dont think i'm going any time soon again. we are also quite amazed by the amount of FOREIGN(china) people are working there. maybe singapore are lacking of TALENT being ushers in the cinema?
this issue is pretty serious. cos it's like bringing down the image of singapore. having more non-english speaking foreigners working in the frontline(airport,tourists attractions.) so what's about the multi-languages singaporeans image, mr LKY is trying to build for years?!
LOL! ok, i think i'm over elaborating. end!
8:08 AM
APRILFOOL! isitmedemandingtoomuch?isntthathowacoupleshouldbehave? iwasjusttryingtoseewhetheryouaregoingsupperwithurfriends. andyouliedsayingthatyoudintbringurhandphonewithyou. butisawyoutakingouturhandphoneandputitinurpocket. APRIL FOOL! whydidyoulie?i'mnoteventryingtotagalongorwhat? i'mjustaskingifyou'regoingtobeoutlate. sothenextdayiwontwakeyouupunnecessarily. butyoumadeyourchoice. yourchoice;lie. APRIL FOOL! iffreedomisreallywhatyouneedthatmuch. i'llgiveyou.iwontaskaboutwhere,who,when,what,how. iwantedtohavethesameprivilegeasyou. butyouaskedwhereamitoday. thinkingthati'mnottheonethatneededthatmuchfreedom. ichosetotellyouwhereiam, andnot;lie. APRIL FOOL! iguessourrelationshipwillbeverydullwithoutknowingeachotherwhereabout. and"loveyou"seemssosuperficial;sofake. APRIL FOOL! ifyoumanagetoreadtillhere. iguessi'llhavetotellyou, wewontlastthisway. iffreedomisreallyyouwant, maybeyoushouldntevenhaveagirlfriend.